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Top Ten Remodeling Tips
Author: Mary Rosendale

My husband and I just completed our first remodel. It was a period renovation of a Victorian Gingerbread Craftsman. (I'm so thrilled I can talk about it in the past tense). We haunted architectural salvage houses for just the right windows, bid on eBay for period-correct light fixtures, spent an entire afternoon driving all over L.A. for a screw that they stopped making in the thirties and generally worked to the point of insanity. Tiptoed up to the line but never crossed it.So here, ripped from the headlines so to speak, are my Top Ten Tips for Remodeling. Read 'em and weep.

1. There is a solution to every situation. But it's not necessarily yours. You go where the solution is - it doesn't come to you.

2. There is no medicine for whatever ails you quite like hard, exhausting, purposeful work.

3. Chew your own food. Don't make your problems other peoples. They've got their own.

4. I'm not psychic. Maybe you are. Guesstimates of time and money are just that. Reality has a way of intruding. When in doubt - go with Reality. (I don't know when I'm going to die either).

5. Pain fades with time. Remodeling is like giving birth. When you're in the middle of delivery you swear you'll never do it again. But then the kid turns out to be a looker, a few years go by.....Yadda yadda yadda - you're in escrow.

6. There are no problems - only opportunities for creativity, action and collaboration.

7. You're born alone, you die alone - you don't have to win alone. Everyone can win. Some win more than others but there's enough in the pot to spread around. If you squeeze a vendor to bid a job so low that they can't make money, harbor resentment and cut corners - you both lose.

8. Nobody owes you anything. If they help you it's because they're generous people. Acknowledge them.

9. Everything comes to an end. And then it starts up again.

10. Remodeling really is like Improv. You show up without a script. You have no idea what's going to happen next (except you can be sure that whatever you think it'll be - you're wrong). You're dependent on others for their performances. So help them shine. You make it work by paying attention to everything and dealing with whatever Reality presents to you. Do the best you can with the resources you have and don't forget to enjoy the ride.

11. Okay, I lied. There are more than Ten Tips to Remodeling. There are actually thousands. This last one, though, is the most important. Don't forget to put yourself on your own Punch List. No pressure of work or money is reason enough not to eat right,sleep enough, monitor your health and appreciate your family.
Mary Rosendale is a Certified Life Coach, Author, Speaker and serial remodeler. Visit her on the web at http://www.TheConstructedLife.com and sign up for her one-of-a-kind newsletter.

 

 

 

 

 

I love building things around the house. And a deck not only adds beauty and value to your home, it is also a fairly easy task to do. Increase your living space by building a deck or patio! Everything you want to know about front entance deck plans.

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  • IT'S AWESOME AUGUST AGAIN!
    Author: Beatrice Blitterlees & Earl Craboon
    Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.

    IT'S AWESOME AUGUST AGAIN

    Or, what else did you think it was?


    **Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon

    August, the eighth month of the year, is to put it bluntly …the worst of a long, hot summer or more likely the armpit of an incredibly sweltering one.

    If you're in a quandary about why a cow would want to jump over the moon, who let the screaming meemies loose, and where the damn dog ran away with the spoon -- you need a vacation!

    So kick back, toss your TV remote control and cell phone in the lake, and try fly-swatting for a change!

    On the other hand, for all those who have to report for work and suffer from far too many liquid lunches, limp watercress sandwiches, and lightweight daydreams, consider celebrating Men from Mars Day. (That’s when masked men with maps and Mayflower Madams on their minds descend from simmering, sleek, sight-seeing spaceships to discover they’ve not only arrived on the wrong planet, but also 3,542 years too late for the beach party. )

    So without further adieu, adios, a rivederci, au revoir, auf Wiedersehen, not to mention cheerio, ciao, pip pip, tah tah, toodle-oo, see you later Alligator, and that wretched standby … “Have a Nice Day” – take our advice …enjoy these good-humored, good-for-nothing activities that exemplify the merry month of August.

    August 1 – BATHTUB RACING DAY (Grab an old bathtub, put on some wheels and an old motor…then find a place to let’em rip and roar!)

    August 2 - NATIONAL ABBREVIATION APPRECIATION DAY (Time to celebrate the ancient sport of skinny-dipping, the science of getting down to bare essentials, and the fine art of bikinis, briefs and box shorts.)

    August 3 – ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN RECOGNITION DAY (A great way to honor weird things that are bound to melt sooner or later and leave a smelly mess behind.)

    August 4 – BOB DID IT DAY (Anything you’d dearly love to pin on dear old Bob, now’s the time to do it).

    August 5 – DEVIL’S ADVOCATE DAY (Time to get out your bull horns, slip into a flaming red spandex suit, and grab a rusty pitchfork – cause there’s a trial balloon or a sacred cow with your name on it!)

    August 6 – NATIONAL HYPOCHONDRIAC APPRECIATION DAY (It’s the annual “My Ailment’s More Serious Than Your’s Is” Swap Meet & Pity-Pot Party).

    August 7 – LEFT-FIELD AWARENESS DAY (Time to honor all those things that come appear out of nowhere and hit you on the head every now and then like bird droppings, old flames, and visits from long-lost relatives.)

    August 8 – SCARLET PIMPERNEL & MATA HARI DAY (Time to go incognito - be your favorite mystery man or maven – what’s your nom de plume and your game?)

    August 9 - ALPHABET APPRECIATION DAY – “B” (Time to talk about people, places and things beginning with the letter “B” …like “Bucky Beaver”, “Bobo”(Alabama), and “bogeys”.)

    August 10 – UGLY ART & ARCHITECTURE DAY (Time to award the “No. 1 Eyesore” in your community …hint it’s the thing that even a flea market couldn’t sell).

    August 11 – LEO RECOGNITION DAY (This is payback time when you get to showcase those smug, stubborn, sulky sorts you know strut about and stroke their locks, play with their curls, or simply wear a crown to cover their over-sized cerebellums).

    August 12 – BACKHOUSE BEAUTIFICATION DAY (Yup it’s time to remodel, redecorate or revive that classic piece of American architecture – the mobile ablution hut – better known as the cottage outhouse, the camp latrine, or the outdoor privy.)

    August 13 – BEAT-AROUND-THE-BUSH DAY (A time-honored occasion to evade thorny issues, lead folks down the garden path, and practice your hem-and-hawing skills.)

    August 14 – CLUTTERBUG & PACK-RAT APPRECIATION DAY (It’s never too late to recognize the contribution made by frenzied folks who are fond of paper, bits of string, broken pencils and old photographs…who’s your nomination?)

    August 15 – GONG SHOW AWARD DAY (Is there a delightful ding-dong achievement waiting to be recognized in your workplace or neighborhood?)

    August 16 – NATTY NAPKIN DAY (Why not celebrate one of the most overlooked pieces of puff we have today – the humble dickey, the cheery chin-wiper, or that breathtaking bib and tucker outfit.)

    August 17 – BEST BILLBOARD IN TOWN AWARD (Time to choose your favorite outdoor ad, the one that makes you jump elegantly for joy, roll merrily in the street, or quietly split your sides laughing.)

    August 18 – FAKE FLOWER RECOGNITION DAY (Time to plant those plastic pots of PVC pansies on the deck to impress your know-it-all in-laws or nosey neighbors.)

    August 19 – THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD PREDICT DAY (Time to put on your crash-helmet …cause this could be a real winner!)

    August 20 – EXCESS BAGGAGE APPRECIATION DAY (There’s someone out there you know who always packs a 350-pound bag for an overnight trip somewhere.)

    August 21 – BY-THE-BOOK REWARD DAY (A great occasion to honor those who never do a thing without consulting the operating instructions, or a policy and procedures manual.)

    August 22 – NATIONAL BUTTER-FINGER APPRECIATION DAY (So who do you know who constantly drops the ball, can’t climb a slippery pole, and sucks their thumb a lot?)

    August 23 – NATIONAL CAVE MAN RECOGNITION DAY (Time to honor the best breast-beater and burned beef barbecue cook you know.)

    August 24 – COCKTAILS & CAPERS DAY (Time to see who can whip up the best blue blazer, daring Daiquiri, horse’s neck, old Hickory, Margarita, pink lady, or snappy sidecar without a recipe of course.)

    August 25 – CRANKPOT APPRECIATION DAY (Yup… if there's one category that needs validation it's this one!)

    August 26 – AAAH & OOOH AWARENESS DAY (Time to tell everyone you know what you want for your birthday, Christmas and Employee Appreciation Day.)

    August 27 – STUFF YOU SHOULDN’T DO ON YOUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB DAY (An occasion to honor the fine art of ridiculously pointless drama, incredibly bad timing, and inefficient use of someone else's space.)

    August 28 – MEN FROM MARS DAY (A good opportunity to check out the little green guys not to be confused with Men from Glad who grumble about carrying out your trash every week, adore swatting the occasional fly, and claim they were born with a convenient push-button TV remote control located on their navels naturally.)

    August 29 – THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T LEND DAY (Let’s see, there’s your used dental floss, your pet boa, and your whoopee cushion…what else?)

    August 30 – THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T KISS DAY (This is a long list: frogs and toads, Big Bird and the Blarney Stone not to mention cheap imitations of Prince Charming or the Princess of Prunes…)

    August 31 – BIG FOOT APPRECIATION DAY (Time to ask all your favorite questions: “What size sneakers do you wear? Who cuts your hair? When can you come out and play?” )

    About the Author

    Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and her faithful consort Lord Earl Craboon have earned a rather ripsnorting reputation as goodwill gossip-mongers in the award-winning Court of The Quipping Queen

    ...

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